Sakutia
by mLove23
Summary: When Beast Boy wakes up to find his powers gone, the Titans plan to bring them back. The only problem is his power's origins. With no existence of Sakutia in the present day, Raven must bring Beast Boy back to Africa during his childhood. He'll have to face his past and resist the urge to change the future.
1. Chapter 1 - Garfield

Thunderstorms in Jump City aren't out of the ordinary, but this one was particularly intense. Horizontal lightning struck across the sky and left an imprint of downtown's skyline in Raven's eyes as she watched through her window. She was not afraid of the storm but instead concerned as to why she was unable to sleep. Any time she woke up in the past was due to something troubling in the Tower or with herself. No visions came to her and she couldn't feel any unwanted presence in their home. Still, she hoped that maybe a walk through the halls would let her doze off again.

Despite the torrential downpour, the moonbeams were strong enough to push through the rain and illuminate the outer halls. Raven felt exposed as the light shone in and she made a compulsive reach toward her cloak before realizing it had been left behind. She continued forward without it, each step reminding her of just how substantial the Tower actually was. Turning the corner revealed a harsh cutoff from the moon's light, casting dark shadows through the inner halls that bled into a void. In some sense, Raven felt more comfortable as she deserted the moonlight that reflected from her skin. Though she didn't necessarily enjoy the darkness, it was more painless than being the center of attention.

Quiet steps as she roamed barefoot down the hall, mulling over whether she'd check the floor above or below next. Going up would bring her to Starfire and Robin's floor where Starfire's Tamaranian heritage and ability to fly made her more comfortable near the roof and where Robin originally claimed that being on the highest floor would give him a better vantage point of the city than the floor just below it. Although, the rest of the team had always made jokes that it was a poor excuse to be closer to the alien that kissed him at their first meeting.

A distant sound pulled Raven out of her thoughts. It sounded as though it came from just up the hall. Peering around the corner, she saw a figure creeping toward her. There were no distinguishing features she could identify until a stray gleam of light bounced off their head and revealed a flash of unrecognizable gold hair.

"Stop!" she warned before encasing the intruder in her dark energy and binding them to the wall. Though a stranger in appearance, the intruder called out to her with distinct familiarity.

"Can't a guy go pee in peace?"

"Beast Boy?"

He fell to the floor as she released him. With cautious steps, Raven approached. She had noticed blonde hair – there was no mistaking that – but when the boy in front of her met her eyes, Raven realized they were the same green that she had seen for the past three years. Beast Boy stared back at her after rising to his feet only to catch his friend expressing something that he had never seen from her before – shock.

"It's actually you," she breathed and he countered her with his trademark sarcasm.

"Geez, Rae. You're acting like you're _not _looking at a handsome green heartthrob."

"I'm … not."

"Well, there's no need to be rude about it. I know I look good," he joked, but he became more unsettled as Raven barely shook her head and softly spoke his name once more. His gaze dropped toward his hands on impulse and where he once retained green skin was now replaced with just mundane, fair, normal skin – similar to when he was a kid. He began to mutter to himself as he bolted for his room, leaving Raven in the hall. Rushing through his door, he came to a clumsy stop in front of the mirror that hung over his dresser and stood there dumbfounded.

"Okay. No big deal," he struggled to convince himself. "Just focus and … _change_." Nothing happened. He pushed himself repeatedly. "Cat. Snake. Hawk." Tears began to well in his eyes as he braced himself on the dresser.

_What's going to happen to me_, he thought. If he had no powers, could he really be a part of the team? He didn't quite have the skills to hold his own without abilities. He was useless.

"Beast Boy, it's okay."

"No, it's not," he said, stepping toward Raven who appeared in the doorway. "What am I going to do?"

"Tell Robin."

"I can't do that! I don't have any powers; he'll make me leave!"

"He's our friend," she responded, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "He won't throw you out of our home. He'll find another way. Come on. He needs to know."

Robin was never sluggish when he awoke. When he heard a knock at his door, he collected himself and made his way to answer within seconds, leaving his weapons behind. Villains didn't knock.

"Raven, what-" he started. "Beast Boy … what _happened_?"

"We have a problem," she replied, as Beast Boy seemed to be highly interested in the floor.

"Your powers?" Robin asked. Raven shook her head in response. "Okay, head back to bed. I'll call a meeting in the morning. There's no need to alert the others right now. And Beast Boy-" he waited until his friend looked up and tried to give a convincing smile. "Everything's going to be alright."

"Yeah… right."

As Beast Boy and Raven made their way back to the floor below, Raven found herself gaining tension in her shoulders.

"Beast Boy, can you calm down? You're stressing me out."

"I didn't even say anything!"

"You didn't need to." After a few more moments in the elevator, the doors opened and allowed the two to step out. Raven spoke again. "I'm sorry. I know this is upsetting for you. I can feel your mind racing. If you'd like, I can help you relax."

"Oh? What did you have in mind?"

"If you're going to be immature, I'll take back my offer."

"No, wait!" he stammered. "You know I get joke-y to deal with things!"

"Well at least you haven't lost your sense of humor," she deadpanned. "Now, go."

Beast Boy took the lead back to his room while Raven followed from a modest distance. Even a few extra feet granted her with a moment to breathe. Only after passing through the doorway did Beast Boy speak again.

"I have to admit it's kind of strange having you alone in my room."

"I never thought I'd be here either. Now lie down and get comfortable."

"Right. Okay." He flipped back the covers and nestled into his bed. However, Raven couldn't help but notice that Beast Boy lay flat on his back and rigid as a board, analyzing her every move with just his eyes.

"What are you doing? I said to get comfortable."

"I am."

"Don't be weird. Just relax and close your eyes." Beast Boy did as she told him and he felt her hands gingerly find their places over his head and heart. His breathing slowed and they remained in place for a few minutes before Beast Boy figured that he just couldn't be helped.

"Hey Rae, I don't think it's working," he told her. Yet his eyes struggled to open as they were met with the bright light of morning sun. Raven was gone. "Whoa… _what_? It didn't even feel like I was asleep! It's like magic! Wait. _Duh_ – because it _is_." He felt like a fool talking to himself but it almost made the morning feel like it was normal and if he wanted the morning to _continue _having some sense of normalcy, he'd keep his routine. That meant grabbing the cleanest uniform from the pile and heading to the Ops Center.

Beast Boy hesitated outside, hearing the voices of his teammates through the door. He knew he had to face them, but he remembered the way Robin had pitied him the night before and he wasn't sure how'd he handle it if the rest of the team acted the same way.

_Screw it, _he thought and proceeded into the room. The Titans were preoccupied with generous amounts of information that were displayed on the projector screen. The only one to acknowledge him was Raven, giving a slight nod to greet his entry.

"What's going on?" he started as he made his way further into the room. Robin spun the chair around to face him as Starfire and Cyborg attempted to hide their awe toward his new and unimproved appearance.

"Beast Boy, you're just in time. We think we might have an idea as to how to bring your powers back."

"You know, I've been thinking and I don't think you should call me that anymore."

"Beast Boy?" Starfire kindly pressed.

"It doesn't seem right," he answered. "At least, not until I get my powers back. Just use my real name." There was a moment of silence as the Titans looked to one another.

"Are you absolutely sure you want your powers back?" Raven drifted toward him.

"Yeah, of course."

"Think about it, man," Cyborg jumped in. "This is your chance to have a normal life."

"I can't believe it. You guys are already trying to get rid of me!" he cried, belligerent. Raven placed a hand on his shoulder and Starfire shook her head, eyes wide, hands clasped together.

"Absolutely not," clarified Robin, standing, "but think long term. Haven't you ever thought about what you might miss? A sense of peace outside of crime fighting, a house, a family. None of us get to have that chance but now you do."

"I _am _thinking long term. All of you are my family and I'm not giving that up. Now tell me the plan."

"Very well." Robin sat back down. "We've been reading deeper into your files and –"

"My _private_ files?"

"You didn't seem to have any qualms when you hacked into mine," said Raven.

"Enough. Yes, your private files. Cyborg had the idea that we might be able to recreate what happened. If we can find the virus and the antidote, it might just bring your powers back."

"I ran the numbers. There's roughly a ninety-four percent chance your powers will return as they were. You carry the meta-human gene and your body is already adjusted to the virus. There's basically no way for it to fail."

"The only things we can't find are any kind of information on the virus you contracted or the antidote that cured you," Robin continued.

"That's because they don't exist anymore. I'm sorry but your plan already failed." The team stared at him in silence, hoping he'd elaborate. He did. "The disease was called Sakutia. It was only found in the Congo in a rare species of monkey. They didn't used to be rare, but the disease caused them to go extinct. I got sick from one of the last ones and my parents found the cure. They're the ones who discovered the antidote but they died before they could publish their research."

"So…" Cyborg thought aloud.

"There's no way for me to get my powers back. Not unless we have a time machine."

"I know there's a prototype at S.T.A.R. Labs but I'm not sure if it's safe. They started drafting the idea after –" Cyborg's words faded out as Robin and Raven glanced at one another. In that moment, Raven conceived an idea that Robin all but vocally approved. She sighed. "– unless you want to look like me," Cyborg finished.

"I think I can do it," Raven spoke. "I've already reached back far enough to drag Cyborg out of the Stone Age and, while you all wouldn't recall, I've frozen time for an extended period. Since then, I've been testing the constraints of time manipulation and I'm certain I can get us where we need to be."

"I'm sorry. You _what _now?" Cyborg hollered. "Messing with time is a dangerous thing!"

"Not when it's a single time-stream. Has anything seemed odd to you?"

"Uh, no," he answered as though questioning everything around him.

"That's because whatever future decisions we're going to make in the past have already brought us to where we stand now."

"The what now?"

"Like when we faced Warp," Starfire chimed.

"Precisely."

"Hang on a second," Garfield interjected. "You can _time _travel? Why haven't you gone back to stop all those times Cyborg beat my high scores or to stop Starfire from reciting Tamaranian poetry?"

"Because I don't use my powers for idiotic reasons. Besides, it's risky for one person to be identified twice at the same moment in time. I've only turned back the clock on physical objects."

"Oh yeah? Prove it," Garfield jeered.

"Remember the penny you found in the park before Trigon came to Earth?"

"Yeah, I gave it to you for good luck."

Following the events of Trigon, Raven had gone back to the abandoned library and scoured for the lost coin. It was simple, but having it near her was comforting. After all, she did come out of the disaster alive as did the rest of the world.

Raven faced her palm upward, conjured the penny from her room, and curled her fingers into a fist. She then unveiled an empty hand. "And now you can give it to me again."

"Dude, no _way_! I _knew_ it popped out of nowhere!" he cried with excitement, grabbing her hand and inspecting every angle. She tore it from his grasp.

"It's not a party trick. At that moment, you've found the penny and the sky turned black."

"Is it possible that Trigon will return and be victorious? If he is all knowing, how can we be certain that he will not change his plan to conquer the Earth?"

"There are fixed points, Starfire – points in time that no one can change. Trigon's defeat is one of them. He may still return in the future, but trust me when I say that he does not want to relive the past."

"Okay then," Robin declared. "New plan. Starfire will take Raven and Gar shopping for time-appropriate clothing. Cyborg, I need your holographic rings and then I'm putting you on supply duty."

"The holographic rings are _my_ toy! Why can't _you _go shopping for supplies?"

"I have to stay here and coordinate the mission. I've also been undercover more times than you."

"Which means…"

"Which _means_ I know how to make their appearances match their personalities without their identities being given away. This isn't like when you went undercover as Stone. They need to look human and Garfield's parents can't be able to recognize him."

"Whatever. Just don't change a lot. The rings have their limitations. If you alter the appearance too much, they'll look strange and inhuman to the naked eye."

"Got it. Thanks." Robin began expelling frantic code into the computer as Starfire grabbed both of her friends' hands.

"I am joyous that we may travel to the mall of shopping together. It will hold such fun for us." She began to drag them into the halls.

"Yeah," Raven muttered, "fun."


	2. Chapter 2 - The 90s

"Are you two ready?" Robin asked.

"I suppose so," replied Raven. "Starfire found us clothes that will fit in –"

"So much plaid and velvet," shuddered Gar.

"I got enough food for the both of y'all for a few days among other supplies –"

"And I've briefed Garfield on the rules we absolutely cannot break," Raven finished.

"Good and don't forget – quarter twist counterclockwise to activate the rings. I've only programmed a few appearances in case you miss your mark so get in, get your powers back, and get out. We'll see you soon."

"Warm wishes to you, friends. I shall miss you greatly."

The Titans stood around their friends, who were already dressed in civilian-wear and carried large hiking bags on their backs. Raven took Gar's hands and began her meditation. He recalled what she had told him while they shopped. Raven didn't know when or where they were going; she only had the ability to bring them there. Everything else was up to him.

"You two look cute together," Cyborg teased. Garfield scoffed at him.

"Come on, man. Why do you got to be like that?"

"Leave it," warned Raven, eyes still closed. "Focus."

Closing his eyes, Garfield pictured his home, the open plains, the thick jungle nearby, the tribe that lived on the outskirts of the reserve, the King's bright smile, the heat of sunset, the smell of rain in the soil, the calls of the animals nearby, the birthday he spent alone, the determination to end his parent's obsession, the fear as a sick animal rushed toward him with protruding teeth. The memories that had once delighted him had slowly turned into memories of heartbreak over time. He had pushed them deeper as he grew older in hopes that he'd never have to remember the bittersweet moments of his childhood. Now, they all came rushing back to him – and they were so powerful they felt real.

"Garfield, open your eyes."

"Huh," he pondered aloud. "I thought the nineties would look different. I guess I was wrong."

"It's a jungle. It's always going to look this way."

"Tell that to the Amazonians," he grumbled. She blatantly ignored his comment.

"Does any of this look familiar?"

"Dude, I don't know! But, I guess…it kind of _feels_ familiar."

"Well, even if we missed our mark, I need recovery time before we can try again. Let's set up and set out to see if we can pinpoint where we are."

"You got it, boss."

"Please don't call me that."

"Affirmative, chief," he joked. Raven let out an exhausted sigh. This trip was going to be more tedious than she originally anticipated. Garfield began unpacking his bag which was filled mostly with cans of tofu and one can of Spam with a sticky note stating "Just try it." He tossed it in Raven's direction and it landed near her while she crouched to organize her own bag's contents. Underneath all the tofu were a few basic items like a lighter, thermal blanket, sleeping pad, and small tent.

"Garfield, do you have my tent?"

"Uh, I don't think so." He pulled his out to see if there was a second one hiding behind it. At the bottom was another yellow paper, courtesy of Cyborg. It read "Just in case", with a winking face. Flipping it over threw Garfield into a panic. Stuck to the adhesive was a small, square, aluminum wrapper that he shoved back into his bag without hesitation. He told Cyborg about his crush one time and he took it too far when he knew there was nothing Gar could do about it. "I'm gonna _kill_ Cyborg when we get back," he growled.

"What did he do?"

"Oh! Uh, there's only one tent in my bag. Are you _sure_ he didn't hide one in yours?"

"I'm pretty sure. It's the biggest out of our supplies."

"Well maybe this is a big tent for like eight people and we can just hang a sheet down the middle," Gar suggested. He rolled the tent over on the ground and they both witnessed the distinct claim that the tent was fit for two people.

"Let's compromise," Raven said, "when we get back, _I _get to kill Cyborg."

"It's fine. You can have the tent, I can just – wait. No. I can't –"

"Hang on, there's someone coming." Focusing her energies, Raven felt as three people neared their location. No, two people.

"What?"

"Activate your ring," she commanded. Only a moment after their counterclockwise turns and veil of illusions washed over them did two people pass through the brush. Raven stepped forward to confront them.

"Mark, you said you've already been here. There's not going to be anything new."

"Animals don't stay in one place. We have to cover as much as we can every day." The man turned and looked the Titans' way. "Besides, _they're_ new."

"Mom . . . Dad," Garfield breathed. Raven turned and saw a boy who had to be her teammate and she supposed he didn't look _too _different. Brown hair instead of blond, a nose more straight from his profile, and eyes more almond than square.

"What did he say?" the woman asked, visibly confused.

"Nothing, he's just being dramatic," Raven covered, dropping her guard. "We lost our stuff and he's acting like we're stranded."

"What're you doing out here?"

"Uh, college trip," she answered again. "We're trying to study the local animals."

"Ah, zoologists," Mark spoke, intrigued. "What type?"

"Um –"

"Primatology," Garfield choked out.

"And where is the rest of your class?" The woman took her turn to speak.

"They've gone to other countries for their projects," Raven spoke. "They're not in our same field of study."

"And it's just you two here?" she asked. The teenagers nodded. The woman poked her head around the two to look at their supplies and her expression turned dismal. "Is that really all you have?"

"Yes, unfortunately the flight is still trying to recover the rest."

"Well we can't have that," Mark chimed in. "Besides, honey, they could potentially help us. You see kids, we're looking for the Green-Capped Mangabey."

"But it's extinct!" Garfield exclaimed.

"Except it's _not_. Marie and I actually came across a few some months ago but they're sick. A disease called Sakutia. It acts like a slow plague and we think they were declared extinct to protect anyone from contracting it. But we're hoping to find a cure to keep the species alive. How's _that _for a project?"

"Oh, thank you but we don't want to impose."

"Oh, not at all! It's been a while since we've had anyone over! There's a spare bedroom, so one of you will have to take the couch, but our son will be so excited to have visitors."

"We have to head home to make dinner if you'd like to join," Marie extended the offer.

"That would be awesome!" jumped in Garfield. Raven glared at him, incredulous, but only saw twinkles in his eyes.

"Great! Follow us!"

"We'll be right behind you. We just need to, uh," Raven gestured toward the scattered cans, "gather our things."

"Don't take too long," Mark winked at them. "I'm a pretty fast walker." Then he took off in the jungle. Marie snorted.

"He's really not, but I'm not going to be the one to tell him." She followed after her husband. Raven huffed out a sigh.

"Well that got away from me quickly. What were you _thinking _by accepting their offer? We needed to stay _away _from this kind of thing."

"I did what?" he asked.

"You just saw your parents and blanked on _all _of the rules we went over. Now we have to go for dinner."

"Oh… sorry." He scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, that's why we have these disguises though, right?"

"It helps to keep them from recognizing you, but if you pull any more stunts like that they _will_ figure it out."

"I can be cool, I promise," he protested. "I just didn't have time to mentally prepare!"

"Do you ever?" she replied, kneeling toward her bag. Garfield joined her, not saying a word. Raven spoke again with a much lighter tone. "You look good with brown hair. Of course, Robin changed a bit of this," she waved toward his face, "so that's probably part of it."

"You look good too. Your hair is black and your eyes aren't purple and your skin is –" he drifted off. Raven looked at her hand as she gathered the last of her things.

"Normal," she finished.

"Yeah but, I guess, you don't look too different besides those things." He grinned brightly at Raven, but she could only stare. His smile dropped and he began to blush, turning to hurriedly pack his bag. _I told her she didn't look different. I told her she looked good. Abort. Abort. Abort._

"Did you get everything?" Raven asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah, I think so." He glanced over the campsite and gave a thumbs-up. "Yep! All good!"

"Then lead the way."

Garfield gave a prompt nod and began walking over the sodden dirt, conscious of how close Raven travelled behind. _Well_, he thought with a chuckle, _close for her._ Truthfully, Raven didn't want to stay too far behind while in the jungle but walking alongside her friend seemed uncomfortable after the comment he made. He hadn't meant anything by it, he was just blundering on as usual. So why had she felt such a rush of embarrassment from him in the moments that followed? If it had been one of her books, the answer would be obvious. That thought crossed her mind for an instant before she brushed it off.

"I can see my parents up ahead."

"Are you ready for this?"

"No, but what choice do I have?" Garfield asked as he slowed his pace to let Raven catch up. "I'm not gonna lie, Rae. This whole mission is messed up. My parents were my heroes and in more ways than one." He sighed. "Coming back and knowing I can't save them… it's the hardest thing I'll have to do."

"I know. That's why I'm here."


	3. Chapter 3 - Welcome Home

Raven took on the task of communicating as the four traipsed toward Mark and Marie's home. Gar seemed only capable of staring. Even though he still had pictures of them, they looked different than he had remembered. It was possible that it was only because he hadn't seen them in person for such a long time, like when a friend returns from a trip. You begin to notice their freckles or the way they walk. Every detail gets absorbed like a sponge because and you begin to wonder why you never saw these things before. But these weren't his friends, these were his parents and he was tall enough to look them in the eyes. When you're young, you know you love your parents but you take them for granted – death isn't something that exists to a child. He finally had a chance to get to know them - to _really _get to know them – and have new memories to think back on. After a few moments of discovering his side mission, Garfield returned to the discussion being had.

"That won't be a problem at all. We already share a bathroom."

"You two live together?"

"Sort of," Gar answered. "We live with our friends."

"Welcome back to the conversation," teased Raven.

"Heh, sorry. Just lost in the nature."

"Just wait until you see the sunset. It's breathtaking," Marie told him with a smile. He looked right into her eyes and saw his own looking back. "It's right about that time, so you two should be able to see it as soon as we're out of here."

"We're only about five minutes from the house," said Mark, "and then Marie's gonna make the best food you've ever tasted."

"What's for dinner?" Gar asked and Mark produced a sincere laugh.

"I like you. Stay as long as you want."

"And to answer your question, I'm making meatloaf."

"Ooh, my favorite!"

"Is it really?" Raven questioned and Gar seemed appalled at his own words.

"I mean, it used to be. I'm vegan now, but that's okay! You guys can still make it. I'll just snack on some veggies."

"Nonsense. We can make it a veggie loaf, I'm just not sure how to make it all hold together."

"I can help!" he offered. "I've had plenty of experience."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you."

"I would offer my help as well," Raven started, "but our friend once compared my pancakes to something along the lines of a cockroach."

"Yeah, but she still ate them."

"Your friend sounds a bit odd," Mark noted.

"Yeah, she's out of this world," Garfield quipped.

"Speaking of which – are you ready to see the most amazing sunset of your lives?" beckoned Mark. The jungle had been thinning for some time but remained lush enough at the border to obstruct most of the horizon. The couple reached out and drew the leaves back to clear a path for the Titans. They were met with a flaming sky. Brilliant hues of citrus and gold grew upward, splashing the underside of the clouds with a rich crimson. It appeared as though a volcano erupted and the lava never quite fell back to earth but instead rolled across the heavens, the toxic smoke being represented by the dark purples hidden above the clouds. Scattered trees contrasted against the stretch, creating stunning silhouettes.

"Whoa."

"You see the house that's about a half mile away?" Mark asked, lightly touching Raven's waist as he passed by, ensuring she was aware of his presence as he drew near.

"You mean the only one that's on the plain?" she answered. He laughed.

"That's the one. Meet us there when you're ready, we'll keep the door unlocked."

As Mark and Marie began their trip home, Raven and Garfield looked across the sky in wonder.

"This puts all the sunsets back at the Tower to shame," she observed. He merely nodded his head.

"Welcome to my childhood, I guess," he responded with a chuckle.

"Your parents are really nice. If we didn't already know them, I'd think they were serial killers. So, you think we're in the right time?"

"I'm not sure, honestly. Nothing's obvious. Come on," he gestured, touching her waist as his father had and beginning to walk, "let's see if we can find out over dinner."

They approached a two-story house with a covered porch and its front door swung open. A garage-sized building sat near the corner of the home.

"Have a safe trip, Nick!" They heard Marie call from inside as a man with dark hair made his way out, his back facing toward the Titans to wave farewell. He turned forward and observed his steps as he jogged down the few stairs that led from the door, duffel bag in hand. Raven felt immediate tension in the air as Garfield stiffened beside her. The man looked up as his feet landed on the trampled savannah grass.

"Ah. My apologies," he started. "I could have run straight into you. I suspect you are the Logan's guests?" He smiled but it did not quite reach his eyes, his triangular eyebrows remaining in place. He outstretched his hand for Raven to take. Curiosity got the best of her as she placed her hand in his. Bursts of images played in her mind – gambling, money schemes, off shore banks. "I wish I had the chance to get to know you both better –" he let go of Raven's hand and reached toward Garfield who glared at it, jaws clenched before accepting the shake – "but I do have a flight to catch. Enjoy your dinner. I hope to meet you again someday."

"Yeah," Garfield uttered. The man made off with a quick bow of the head. Raven peeked at her friend who was watching as the man shrunk toward the horizon.

"What was that about?"

"I'll tell you later." He began up the steps, grazing his fingers over the worn wood railing. A familiar glow of the kitchen light met him at the door but he hesitated. Spinning toward Raven broadcasted his worry. "Is this all a dream?"

"No," she answered. He sighed. "Why? Do you want it to be?"

"I'm not sure, but it'd definitely be a lot easier."

"Garfield, I feel . . . bad about this."

"Why? Like something's going to happen?"

"No. Well, yes I suppose." She took a troubled breath. "I know something happened in your past. Something you haven't shared with us. It doesn't seem right for me to be intruding on your memories like this. It wasn't right for me to invite myself along."

"You said it yourself – it has to be this way. You told me the communicators wouldn't work through time, which makes sense, so there wouldn't be a way for you to get me back. Besides," he chuckled, "you have to keep me from messing up like usual."

"Don't act like that's your defining personality. We've all messed up. Just . . . just let me know if you need time alone with all of this. It's intimate."

"I will. Thanks, Rae."

She didn't even try to correct him as the corner of his mouth twitched upward. The whole situation was hard for him – she didn't need to lay any more pressure on. Garfield stepped through the front door while Raven followed directly behind. Everything inside felt warm and worn. The wooden table that settled directly to their right had a mismatch of chairs around it. Adjacent to the table was a kitchen. The counters bent along the corner of the room with the stove on one end and the fridge on the other. An island with two stools acted as a divider between the eating area and living room, where a comfortable couch sat among used armchairs and a woven rug. One small dial TV was placed against the wall and many tribal accents littered the walls of the joined rooms. Raven noted the stairs that were hidden behind the kitchen.

"Hi! What's your names?" A small boy appeared in front of them with shining green eyes, bright blond hair, and an even brighter smile. One of his front teeth was missing, a permanent tooth beginning to make its way out of the gums. "I lost my first tooth," he said, pointing at it. "My name's Garfield."

Raven stared at the child, appalled. She couldn't grasp the concept that her friend was once more spastic than he currently was. Gar laughed at her expression before responding.

"I'm . . . Logan and this –"

"Cool! That's my last name!"

"Yeah! And, uh, you can just call her Rae," he pestered, grinning at Raven. She shot him a glare. He knew she despised the nickname but the mission was not about her, so she kept her mouth shut.

"Is that short for Rachel? I have a friend named Rachel. Her name is actually Rehema, but she's Rachel when we talk in English 'cause I'm trying to teach her since I already know French so we have to make it fair."

"It's Rachel."

"Oh my gosh! We never asked your names. I am so sorry," Marie spoke as she organized different ingredients on the island counter.

"Logan, Rachel. Do you want to go put your bags upstairs and come help with dinner? I know you said you don't cook, but I normally help Marie prepare if you want to join with that."

"Garfield, sweetheart, you need to move so they can come in."

The Titans looked back down at the young Garfield, whose eyes seemed to be fixated on Raven.

"You're really pretty." Raven's cheeks flushed and she looked at her friend who stifled a laugh. He put his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, he said it. Not me."

"Whatever, let's just get our stuff upstairs."

"So," Gar began as they reached the top of the wooden stairwell, "I apparently used to have a crush on you."

"And you apparently speak French." She opened the door at the top of the stairs and saw a large bed.

"My parent's room," he clarified. He pointed to the door in the middle of the opposite wall. "That's the guest room. My old room is the next one over and the bathroom is at the end of the hall." Raven nodded and pushed the entry open further. It was a small room with its windows propped open. A single bed with a wicker headboard braced against the wall, a woven tapestry hanging above it. An oil lantern rested on a nightstand and a floor lamp in the opposite corner, near a cushioned ottoman.

"Cozy," she noted, setting her bag against the dresser. Gar followed her lead, standing directly behind her. "Do you still speak French?"

"Oui."

"I don't believe you." She turned and slightly looked up to meet his eyes.

"Elle vend des coquillages au bord de la mer," he demonstrated. She turned and slightly looked up to meet his eyes.

"And what does that mean?"

"She sells sea shells by the seashore. It's not as much of a tongue twister in French though," he admitted and she let out a small laugh. Gar became acutely aware of how close they stood.

"Any other surprises?" she asked, not realizing how enticing she sounded to her teammate. He had the impulse to kiss her – just one small peck. If she wanted a surprise, it would definitely be one he could provide. Instead, he stepped back and began walking toward his old room.

"I know a little Spanish and I started learning some sign language a couple months ago."

"Sign language?" she questioned as she caught up with him in the hall.

"Yeah, so I can talk with Jericho. If you're friends with someone, I think it's worth knowing what they want to say. I'm not exactly the dummy you guys think I am."

"I didn't say you were," Raven clarified. Gar's mouth quirked upward at her candid honesty.

"Ready see my room?"

"Not if it's in the condition you keep your room now."

"My room is not as bad as you all say. Some laundry to put away, some pizza boxes. Big deal. Come on."

"Fine, but I'm sure your parents are getting suspicious as to why we're taking so long," she pointed out.

"Whatever do you mean?" he feigned ignorance as the two came to a halt in front of an open door.

"I can see you never cared much for one's own privacy."

"I've got nothing to hide." He flipped a switch which rested immediately next to the doorframe, illuminating a room not much larger than the guest's but much more crowded. Toys were scattered among the room. Most resided in their bin, some were on the floor, and quite a few were placed along shelves and his dresser. Dinosaur stickers lined the walls among pictures that were clearly created by a child - the night sky, a snorkeling man, an astronaut, and Superman to name a few. A stuffed giraffe stood in the corner. Garfield gasped and practically ran into the room, picking up a blue and white toy that displayed itself on the chest.

"Botty!"

"What?"

"It's a robot and it's my buddy. You know – Botty!"

"Very clever," she deadpanned. He started making his way out of the room. "What are you doing?"

"Oh! Um, well . . . he went missing when I was younger and I never found him before I had to leave so I figure I'll take him now so I can still have him."

"Do you know how he went missing?"

"Nope. He was the one toy I always put back and then one day he was just gone," he explained. Raven stared at him to indicate the answer. After a moment, his mouth dropped in shock.

"You mean it went missing because _I _took it?" he squealed. "Whatever, if I remember it going missing, then I shouldn't mess with time. I'm keeping it."

"At least wait until we're ready to leave so no fingers are pointed at us."

"Yeah," he said, setting the toy back in its place. "I guess you're right."

"I usually am. So what's with all the drawings?"

"I don't know. Just my imagination I guess."

"So when you were younger, you imagined Superman?"

"No," he chuckled, "I idolized him. Even had a cape and everything that I ran around in. I really wanted to meet him."

"And now you have." Raven examined the other pictures his younger self had drawn. What at first glance looked like a child's scribbles now had a deeper meaning. They were his dreams – the things he wanted to see and do when he was a child. "In fact," she spoke again as she pointed to each picture, "you've been to Atlantis, you've been to Tamaran, you've even become one of these." Her finger ended on the dinosaur vinyls.

"Dreams always seem a lot bigger when they're still in your head," he muttered. Sitting on the bed, Gar stared straight ahead at his favorite toy.

"What does that mean?" Raven joined him. He sighed.

"I don't know. I guess when you dream, you imagine all these feelings that'll hit you when you get to finally do it. But then when you're there, it's a little . . . underwhelming." Gar noticed as she stayed silent, listening to each word and waiting for him to continue. "Like when we were in space. We got to see stars outside our solar system and visit a Vegan world. I should have felt wonder and amazement and maybe a bit of insignificance but we were just doing what we needed to do for Star. You know what I mean?"

"Not really," she admitted. Silence filled the room once more.

"Did you have any dreams when you were younger?"

"No, I suppose not. Just a purpose and a hope it wouldn't come true. Guess I didn't get my wish." He witnessed a sad smile as she looked toward the patterned rug.

"What about now?"

"Huh?" she regarded her friend. A blush met his cheeks but quickly dulled.

"Have you had any dreams since we fought Trigon? Anything you want to do?" She thought for a long moment before answering.

"I guess not. I've been content with doing what I always do – saving the city, reading my books, meditating."

"Do you even still need to do that?"

"It helps me focus," she defended.

"You do it to control your emotions, right? But Trigon is gone. You don't need to suppress them anymore. You took your dad down by _feeling _angry with him and _feeling _love for this world. Your emotions make you stronger."

"They do. I don't deny it but they –" she cut herself short. "Why are you so adamant about this?"

"No reason! It's just that . . . well, I –" he gulped and took a deep breath. He couldn't do it. "I'm curious. Don't worry too much about it." He gave Raven a half-hearted smile as her mind reeled, unable to process the rollercoaster of feelings that rolled off Gar. She changed the subject.

"Hungry?" she inquired as she stood to leave the room.

"Always," he followed behind her, taking another look around his room before flipping the switch.

**Not my favorite chapter, but I've hit a bit of a funk. I've decided to push through and get the chapter out. I am going back and editing chapters as a write, adding in information where I feel it's needed and taking it out where it's not. It shouldn't confuse any of you wonderful readers if you prefer to continue reading without going back to see the changes. They really are very minor. Anyway, it would be great if you leave a review - things you're happy with or things you'd like to see. Thank you all and don't forget to favorite or subscribe if you want to read more! **


	4. Chapter 4 - Dinner

**Okay, we've hit chapter four! I know the last chapter was quite a bit of dialogue, but it's going to continue with another dialogue-heavy chapter. Also, I made a decent change to the ending of chapter three. The original idea felt misplaced, choppy, and out of character. I scrapped it and am much happier with the new output. Now, on with the story!**

"So we're gonna use the chickpeas as the meat. Go ahead and mash those all up like this."

Raven was lost in thought, her mind still swirling from the conversation upstairs. Gar demonstrated to his mom how to squash the beans, continually glancing up at Raven to see her clouded eyes skim over his working hands and come to rest on his features. He made a face at her with no reaction on her end – she was completely checked out. After blinking a few times, her clarity returned and Gar flashed a smile. She looked over her shoulder, where the small blond boy tug on the shirt tied around her hips as she sat.

"Do you wanna hear a joke?" he asked.

"Uhhh," she hesitated but he continued as if he never heard her.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?" she sighed.

"Triangle."

"Triangle who?"

"The purple one!" he beamed. She looked over to Marie who now crushed the chickpeas. She gave a small shrug, unable to translate her son's humor. Raven needed Gar's help on this one, but his back was turned to help his father cut the vegetables. Instead, she brought her attention back to little Garfield.

"Did you make that one up yourself?" she asked and he nodded. "Do you tell a lot of jokes?"

"I try but I don't think anyone finds them funny but me."

"Well that's because you have to find things that other people understand. Sometimes jokes can be funny because they're exactly what you think and sometimes a joke is funny because it could mean a few things. For example: why did the cookie go to the doctor?" Garfield stared up at her, waiting.

"You're supposed to ask 'why'," she whispered.

"Why?" he responded.

"He went because he was feeling a little crummy," Raven delivered. Gar spun on his heel from across the kitchen, holding a knife.

"Hey! That's my joke!"

"Apparently it's not; I told it first."

"Stealing my jokes," he grumbled as he faced the cutting board once more.

"I get it!" junior Garfield exclaimed. "Because he felt bad but he's also a cookie so he gets crumbly."

"There you go - double meaning."

"You're funny . . . and smart!" he stated. He thought for a moment, brows furrowed, before gasping with excitement. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Garfield," his mother chastised, "what did we say?"

"That if you ask everyone you like, someone will say 'yes'," he answered innocently.

"Now who told you that?"

"Daddy did!"

"Mark." She placed her hands on her hips. "Did you really tell him that?"

"What?" he laughed. "It worked on you, didn't it?"

Raven glimpsed at her young friend who shifted his balance from one foot to another, hands behind his back, and whose gaze concentrated on the floor. She slid off her stool to kneel in front of the boy and placed her hands on his shoulders, ducking her head down until he met her eyes. She gave a comforting smile.

"I am very flattered, but I think I'm just a little too old for you."

"Well when I'm older, will you be my girlfriend?"

Gar listened carefully to the conversation being held between Raven and himself. He grinned at the courage that his younger self had. _Don't break his heart too bad, Rae_, he thought.

"Hm," she thought aloud. "We'll have to see if you even still like me first. I'm sure you'll find someone much better than me."

"Not possible," he claimed. Then more dramatically, lifting his head and hand skyward, "but I will wait for you until the end of my days. Let's go play with some toys now."

"Not like I'm helping much with dinner anyway."

Mark chuckled beside Gar as the little boy dragged Raven near the television, where reruns of classic soap operas played silently and a few recently used action figures lay about.

"Good ol' Rita Farr," he said.

"Huh?"

"Garfield quotes her all the time. Watches her movies religiously. He swears he's going to meet her some day. We don't have the heart to tell him she died a long time ago."

"Oh," Gar muttered. Silence hung between them for a moment before Mark took the cut vegetables and brought them to his wife. After a swift kiss on her cheek, he returned to Gar and spoke again.

"Logan, if I may offer some advice," Mark started, softly.

"Of course," he welcomed.

"That beautiful woman whose cooking surpasses anyone else – you want to know how I got her to marry a dork like me?"

"You asked until she said 'yes'?" he guessed, remembering what Garfield said earlier.

"Not exactly," he grinned. "I just took a leap of faith and told her how I felt. Then I backed off. It gave her some time to think about what she wanted without making her feel pressured. She'd either reciprocate my feelings or she wouldn't."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You obviously like this girl," Mark clarified.

"What do you mean?" he choked.

"How long have you liked Rachel for?" he pressed. Gar decided that trying to lie about his predicament wouldn't be beneficial, instead choosing to take the advice from his dad.

"A lot longer than I remembered, apparently," he answered "but I knew she didn't like me the same way and I fell for someone else. Things didn't really work out like I hoped and, as much as I didn't want them to, my feelings for her came back."

"Why didn't you want them to?"

"She's one of my best friends. We live together and work together. If I told her, it could make things difficult for everyone. Not to mention my immediate destruction."

"Heartbreak doesn't last that long. Besides, she seems nice enough."

"Not exactly what I meant," he mumbled. The two rested their backs against the counter, watching Raven interact with Garfield. He was showing her how his action figures moved – the legs, the wrists, even the purple cape as he waved it though the air. He shoved the female superhero into her hand before grabbing his own. Seeming to think twice, he dropped the toy and instead put his mouth to her ear, covering the interaction with his hand. He pulled back and she faked interest. A few words were exchanged and she nodded a few times, putting a finger to her lips.

"She's really good with kids," Mark noted.

"Took a while to get that way," admitted Gar. Marie stepped closer to the two, setting a hand towel on the island.

"Loaf is in the oven. I'll get started on the sides in a bit. You gentlemen talking about anything interesting?"

For forty-five minutes Raven played "superhero" with Garfield, suggesting some real-life situations to try and further the plot. They were apparently "too boring" compared to the idea of an evil tri-nicorn, which was represented by a triceratops. Meanwhile, Gar sat with his parents and exchanged small talk as they questioned him about their supposed college courses and how he and his friends all met.

"Charity work," he told them. Soon after, a high-pitched beep alerted the family of their meal's completion. Marie jumped up to collect the loaf and set it among two pots that were found on the stovetop. She then began setting out various dishes and utensils along the island. Gar found his way toward the couches, where his teammate still sat alongside a boy captivated with his toys.

"Hey, Rae. Dinner's ready."

"But we still haven't stopped the nefarious Dr. Corn," she replied dryly.

"Well I guess if there are more important things to do –" he started as he turned away.

"No! I mean . . . Garfield, we should probably take a break to eat." Raven braced herself against on the seat cushion to rise and the blond boy griped, refusing to stand until the black-haired girl offered her hand with a sigh. She glanced at her friend as they passed and muttered "flirt".

"Anyone want a beer?" Mark offered, standing with the fridge door open.

"None for me, honey."

"Of course. Kids?"

"We're not old enough," Raven clarified.

"If you're capable of travelling to Lumumba alone, then a drink at dinner won't kill you, but no worries." He began to close the door, but Gar spoke up.

"I'll take one."

"Really?" Raven asked. Garfield released her hand to fetch some of the buffet-styled dinner. It was work for him to scoop the mashed potatoes out of their pot, having to stand on his toes to get the spoon at the right angle.

"Yeah," Gar said with a lowered voice. "I never got to have a drink with my parents. Better early than never."

"Go ahead and follow Garfield," Marie said. "Just grab a plate and serve yourself."

Mark was the last to sit at the table, with Garfield unable to wait for him before ravaging his fill. Raven looked at the meatless meal in front of her, unsure of what to expect. True, she did prefer eating meat as opposed to its imitator, but she _had _tried tofu bacon after defeating her father and it was much better than she cared to admit. Truthfully, fake meat was only as good as its seasoning.

"Slow down, Garfield," his mother warned. "You're tearing through that like a lion!"

"Well maybe I _am_ a lion!" A morsel of the loaf fell from his lip.

"Hmm," his father considered. "I don't know . . . How's your roar?"

The boy placed down his fork and cleared his throat. He didn't seem to know that a lion's roar came from the chest, Gar noted. Instead, he simply yelled as loud as he could in hope that would make up for being unauthentic. His parents laughed and Gar reached over to ruffle the boy's hair.

"Don't worry. It'll get better when you're older. Trust me."

"So Rachel," Marie shifted, "Logan was telling us about your friends. He said you all met through charity work?"

"Yeah, we met because of our friend Kori. She needed help and we happened to all just . . . be there."

"What kind of help?"

"She was on the run."

She a delinquent?" Mark asked.

"No. Nothing like that. She was trying to get away from bad people associated with her hometown."

"That sounds rough. I hope none of your other friends had to go through anything like that."

"We all have our pasts. I think it's why we're so close."

"Well we won't press any further if you'd rather not talk about it," Marie sympathized.

"It's no problem, but we appreciate it. So, how did you two meet?"

"Sleepaway Camp," Mark answered.

"The horror movie?" Gar responded.

"It's actually kind of funny," picked up Marie. "Our girlfriends were really close and they wanted us to meet, so they decided a double date would be fun. Mark and I found a lot in common and became friends as well."

"I have to be honest, sitting at the drive in with three women . . . I don't think I paid attention to one word in that movie," Mark laughed and Marie nudged him. "Shortly after that, we found ourselves pursuing the same biology degree."

"Is that what made you want to research Sakutia?" inquired Gar.

"Actually, no. We learned about it in class and it was so boring but my girlfriend was intrigued by it. She wanted to find out everything about the disease. She wanted me to come with her, but Mark and I chose to focus on isolating the commonality between man and animal."

"Anyway," she continued, "we found out the hard way that Sakutia can be transferred between species. I was so angry when Jillian passed away that I dove into the subject. Mark stepped in to help me from going insane. My anger turned into fascination when we realized that we could potentially save this endangered species."

"So how do we go about that?" Raven questioned. "That is, if you still think you could use us."

"Of course! We've come to the conclusion that the antidote for this disease is unique to each individual. It is a disease that targets their genetics, so only their genetic code will work as a remedy. We've been trying to tranquilize and tag each Mangabey so that once we've created the antidote, we can track them down and administer the cure."

"And it's worked?" Gar spoke.

"We don't know. We haven't been able to find them in time. The disease is lethal within 48 hours."

"Why not cage them when they're unconscious?" reasoned Raven.

"We thought about it, but we don't have the space or equipment for that. Plus, it's completely unethical. Although," Marie looked at Mark with a pleading look, "we might need to consider it more seriously if we want to save the species. If we can do something, we have to try."

"I couldn't agree more," Gar added. Was that where he got it from - the overwhelming need to do right no matter how stubborn he needed to be to get it done? Did his mom's belief in helping people really stick itself that deeply in his own moral code?

"We can go over a new plan in the morning," concluded Mark. "Dinner is for family, not work."

"Sounds good to me," his wife approved. "So where are you both from?"

"Oh, um," they spoke in unison, looking to one another. Raven gestured for Gar to speak first. How was she going to explain that she grew up in a dimension outside of all dimensions? He cleared his throat.

"My family actually travelled a lot, but I call Jump City my home now."

"Jump City?" Garfield asked him. "I've never heard of it."

"It's still growing," he admitted. "But it'll be just like Metropolis soon."

"That's where Superman is from!"

"Well . . . sure. Yeah, he's from Metropolis."

"I want to meet him, someday."

"He's really nice."

"When'd you meet him?" inquired Marie.

"Through the charity work," he used as an answer once again.

"And you, Rachel?"

"My mom grew up in Gotham."

"We thought about Gotham," Mark said. "Lots of opportunities, but not too great to raise kids."

"You don't need to tell me."

"But what about _you?_" Marie pressed.

"No one's really heard of it; only a couple hundred people lived there. It was a small town called Azarath," she admitted. The Logans sat in silence for a moment, considering her words.

"Like the cult of Azar?" Mark spoke. Raven met his eyes, brows furrowed and mouth slightly agape.

"How do you know about Azar?"

"My ex was a sociology major."

"It's not the type of cult you'd imagine; they're all pacifists, so I was raised in a very peaceful environment." Though she spoke only of her upbringing, it was her heritage she foresaw being an issue. "I hope that my past doesn't bother you."

"I was disowned by my own parents for being who I am. We don't judge here," comforted Marie. Raven nodded in thought and returned to her dinner. She pierced a few green beans on her fork and brought them to her mouth before speaking once more.

"Who was that man here earlier?" Gar watched the conversation carefully as he chewed, staying silent.

"He's a good friend of ours; Nick Galtry. He's Garfield's godfather. He comes to visit us from time to time and brings some things we can't get here – equipment, food, whatever we need."

"What does he do?"

"He's involved with a bunch of different companies – kind of a self-starting mogul. I don't think I've met anyone who makes money as quickly as he does," Mark laughed. "Logan said you work together, what do you do?"

"Just the charity work."

"What about hobbies?"

"Video games for me. Rae's a little more boring – likes to read books."

"It's not boring; you just have the attention span of a gnat. Besides, you liked the horror book that I shared with everyone."

"It was not as scary as the book I read before it."

"_You_ weren't supposed to read that book."

"_I _like books!" Garfield chimed in. "My mommy and daddy read one to me every night."

"And we'll read a new one tonight," Marie told him.

"Can I watch Rita first? Her movie comes on soon."

"First you have to brush your teeth and put on jammies." He jumped from his seat and bolted up the stairs, soft thuds sounding out as the balls of his feet came down on the wooden steps. Raven spoke once the boy disappeared.

"Garfield told me earlier that his birthday is tomorrow, but it's supposed to be a secret?" His parents chuckled.

"We've been pretending to have forgotten so we can surprise him. King Tawaba wants us to wait until he's returned so he can celebrate with us."

"So you didn't actually forget?" Gar responded.

"Of course not! It's his sixth birthday, which has some significance in the local tribes. We're going to bring him out to his friends tomorrow before we start our expedition. King Tawaba should be back the next day."

"What's the King doing?"

"There's a man who vacations in the south of Africa with the last name Wilson. I can't exactly remember his first name – it's something odd - but he hunts for sport. _We_ don't generally agree with that, but the King met him while he was in the Congo and they became good friends. He made sure Wilson understood the hunting laws and he was more than happy to oblige. I'm just glad we don't have to deal with him here."

The two Titans checked on one another, sharing a look of concern. If it really _was _Slade Wilson, would they be safe here? Granted, they sat in a time before all their transgressions but it was still disconcerting to learn that he was always so close.

"Okay! I'm ready! Are you gonna come watch with me?" The boy stood at the base of the stairwell, wearing zebra-striped footie pajamas.

"Go ahead and put it on, we'll be there in a second," his father directed. Garfield nodded and ran over to the TV, turning the knobs until an "upcoming" preview displayed itself on the screen and the announcer's words drifted toward the table, broadcasting that Rita Farr's final film, "The Crimson Lady", would be showing.

"Wait . . . Rita? Like _Rita_?" Raven questioned Gar.

"Yeah."

"I didn't know she was an actress."

"Just don't bring up 'Forbidden Congo' at the next barbecue."

"I'm confused," admitted Mark. "Rita Farr _died _while filming 'Forbidden Congo' but you're speaking about her like you know her."

"Well . . ." Gar started, unsure of how to answer and deciding that a half-truth would have to do. "Her death was a cover-up by the media. They couldn't have a freak running around ruining the Hollywood brand."

"So where is she now?"

"She's part of the Doom Patrol."

"The terrorist group? She must've really gone mad then."

"They're not terrorists, they help people. They just don't always go about things the right way, but you can blame the Chief for that," he said.

_Who's the Chief? _Raven thought. Until they faced the Brotherhood, Gar had rarely mentioned his previous team. The Titans had stayed at Dayton Manor for weekend getaways, but there was still so much about the Doom Patrol that was a mystery.

"She must be fairly old by now. How does she still do it?"

"She's not old. The accident changed her cell structure. She hasn't aged a day."

"How do you know all this about her?"

". . . Charity," he choked out. Raven felt the suspicion grow at the table as Mark's eyes narrowed.

"You two seem to meet a lot of superheroes through charity," he observed.

"They _do _get around," explained Raven. "Plus I'm sure the publicity works in their favor."

"Can't argue with you there," granted Mark, though Raven noted his skepticism did note fade. Marie appeared to understand her husband's thoughts and gratefully moved the conversation away from the Titans' "charity work".

"So what're your families like? Do you have any siblings?"

"Only child," Gar answered, holding up his hand with fork gripped. Raven stayed silent and her friend noticed. "Aren't you an only child?"

"Actually, no. I have half-brothers."

"_Really?_"

"Who's older?" Marie smiled.

"I'm the oldest."

"How many brothers do you have? Two? Three?"

"Too many to count," she answered honestly, but the Logans laughed. Mark spoke next.

"Having so many little brothers must be a pain."

"Yeah, they're absolute demons."

"They can't be _that _bad. At the end of the day, I'm sure you still love them," expected Marie. The corner of Raven's mouth quirked up as she responded with the word that she felt the two parents most wanted to hear.

"Sure." That answer sent solace to Marie, which Raven publicized out of curiosity. "You're relieved."

"Yes, I suppose I am a bit."

"If you don't mind me asking, why?"

"Oh, I don't mind. Truthfully, Mark and I aren't quite sure how Garfield is going to react when we tell him he's going to be a big brother."

**So that part about Raven trying the tofu bacon? I was re-watching "The End: Part 3" and saw her pick some up off the plate and it made my heart warm. Also, I'm sorry if chapters aren't coming up super fast. I'm in the process of moving to Atlanta and I've also been SO sucked in to all the comics on DCUniverse (I may or may not nod toward details from the original comics or even reference dialogue). Seriously, SO worth the subscription and trust me when I say that "Titans" is worth watching. Anyway, you know what to do! Subscribe! Follow! Review! Enjoy life! Share this story with your friends! I've noticed that my story only sometimes shows up on the mobile app and until I work it out with customer service, I need your help to spread awareness of its existence. Love you all.**


	5. Chapter 5 - Thoughts and Confessions

**Hello, lovely readers! Welcome to another chapter of "Sakutia". Last chapter was full of references to the original comics and I know there was a bunch of information that I squeezed in there. Let me know if any of it felt unnatural. I did a lot of rewriting to make it flow better and I hope the differences between "Gar" and "Garfield" were easy enough to follow. From now on, exposition will come a lot slower (this IS a slow burn story that I plan on stretching over three) and feel a bit more natural. The last chapter was honestly a struggle to get through. Ah, well.**

He knew what he was signing up for, but that didn't keep reality from boggling his mind. He was supposed to be able to remember meeting these two strange people, yet each interaction left him with new memories – as though those memories were locked away until the instant they happened. Maybe it was some sort of automatic time-travel safety measure. He wanted to remember what happened next so he could say the exact right thing, but knowing what should be said could give him the choice to change his words and the past and he wasn't allowed to play god.

Gar laid on the couch, a worn blanket pulled up to his chest. His fingers laced themselves over his stomach as he focused on the hum of the refrigerator. Far outside the Logan home, the jungle came to life – only echoes of wild animals reached his ears. He had been afraid of their calls when he was little, always imaging that something would wriggle through his hatched window and swallow him whole. But he grew to love the noises of nature and would leave his room for the comfort of downstairs, where windows littered the walls and let in more of the symphony outside than his bedroom ever could.

The familiarity soothed him as his mind reeled with the conversations held at dinner, though he only clung to one crucial piece of information.

He had excused himself and left Raven to his parents. In normal circumstances, he would have felt bad. His mind swirled with everything and nothing – keeping him from processing anything _and_ keeping him from sleeping. A sound from the kitchen tore him from his thoughts as he sat up to peer over the back of the couch. He saw Raven, frozen in the light of the fridge, looking at him.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"Nah. I can't sleep."

"Okay." Using the light from the fridge, she poured a glass of water before replacing the jug and shutting the door, leaving them in almost complete darkness. Gar closed his eyes once more and listened as her footsteps made their way toward the stairwell and then paused. His heart-rate quickened and he scolded himself for letting down his guard.

Not too long after Trigon, the Titans witnessed as Raven began expressing herself more. The free use of her emotions was a new concept and it left her more vulnerable to absorbing the feelings of others. Some days were harder for her – days where she couldn't easily close off the thoughts of her friends – so Gar decided to do his part.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"About what?" Maybe pretending everything was fine would convince her.

"Garfield," Raven sighed, coming to the end of the couch with each spoken word, "I can feel the apprehension pouring off you."

"Am I that much of an open book?" he chuckled, looking at her. She had deactivated her holo-guise. Her violet eyes pierced the darkness as she studied him.

"To me, yes. Most people are."

Gar resituated to a sitting position so that Raven could sit in her lotus. He faced her, right ankle tucked under his left knee and his arm propped on the back of the seat. Waiting for her to speak first, Gar noted that the silence wasn't uncomfortable. But the silence he broke.

"So . . . are you gonna ask anything?"

"I was waiting for you to tell me what's going on," she admitted, though she already knew. It was simply up to Gar to find when it was right for him. He deflected, hard.

"So you have brothers?"

"Not where I thought the conversation would start, but yes."

"And you're the oldest. Must be cool being the first born. I mean – I don't mean like it's _cool _with the whole thing with your dad," he stammered. "Do you even know your brothers? Not like you'd want to – or do you? Do you –"

"I'm not the first born."

"Huh?"

"I'm not the first born. I'm just the only one to live this long."

"Oh . . ." he thought. "Are you going to die any second?"

"No way to really know. Then again, none of us do."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Not at all. I've seen what waits in the afterlife."

"What's it like?" he asked softly.

"Confusing. It's not exactly the concept of Heaven and Hell like so often believed. The afterlife has a place for every person's range of morality. Each division could be represented by a piece of colored yarn and it's all a jumbled mess."

"So do people ever end up in the wrong place and get tortured?"

"Many people believe that our lives have their own places in the clump, with pre-life and the stations of death weaving around it. Getting to a different section of the afterlife would be the same as travelling to another Earth. It's not impossible, but it takes a lot of work; the strings are intertwined – not connected. "

"But people _can _jump over if they try."

"Sure," she confirmed, "but there are those who keep them in line."

"Like who?"

"Your parents will be alright, Garfield," she avoided answering. He quickly met her eyes and nodded, accepting her answer and Raven provided him with a reassuring smile. "They'll be exactly where they're meant to be. They're good people."

"What about me and the rest of the team? What about the people of Jump City?"

"As long as people _try_. . ."

"And what about Terra?" he asked. Raven sat for a moment, taken aback by the name he hadn't mentioned for some time. Still, she contemplated his question.

"I think," she started, "I think Terra will be okay. She did a lot of wrong and some of it was what she wanted, but she saved us and she chose a new life. I don't think her soul will be held accountable for the actions of her past." Raven watched as Gar analyzed her statement.

"And what about you? You've done good. You've done a _lot _of good. And you said yourself that people get in if they do that."

"I'm not people, Garfield. I don't get that luxury."

"Don't talk like that, Rae. You're plenty 'people'."

"My place has been set since the day of my birth," she spoke with finality. Gar wanted to persist, but the intensity behind Raven's eyes made him think twice. She snatched her water glass from the coffee table and took a long drink, shutting her eyes. After a calming breath, she addressed him once more. "We should probably head to sleep. I'm feeling better since our trip but I still need rest if we need to travel again tomorrow."

"Oh! I meant to mention it, but I kind of got . . . distracted. We're definitely in the right time."

"How do you know?"

"You said that my- _his_ birthday is tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so I remembersome point after my birthday, I snuck out to try and find the monkeys."

"Why would you do that?"

"I thought they forgot about it," he shrugged. "They were always so busy with work that I thought I could help them finish quicker and they'd remember."

"But they didn't forget."

"Well, duh, Rae. I know that _now_."

"Sorry," she acknowledged. "So, what? We just keep watch every night for his escape and make excuses to justify an extended stay?"

"I don't think it'll be long," he informed. "My parents mentioned that King Tawaba would be returning the day _after _my birthday to celebrate, right?" Raven nodded. "Well, I _don't_ remember the celebration," he diligently pointed out.

"So . . . tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

"Well, if that's all," she stood with her glass in hand and left for the stairs, "I'm headed to bed."

"Goodnight," he spoke as he watched her, contemplating whether or not he'd ever seen her in regular sleepwear before. Somehow, the loose pants and tee were more appealing than her usual fitted uniform. They made her seem more relaxed. Gar realized he was staring in the moment he caught Raven's gaze. Her eyebrow rose, inquiring a response.

"What?" he asked.

"I said that you've become really good at hiding," she repeated.

"I don't know how to tell you this," he said, gesturing to himself, "but I'm not hiding."

"I didn't mean physically."

"Are we about to have another conversation?"

"Probably," she admitted. For the second time, Raven left the stairs to join her friend on the couch, though closer this time. She had hoped Gar would confide in her the events from earlier. She reached for the ring on his hand and his breathing hitched as her fingers brushed over his.

_ Hope she didn't notice, _he thought. Did she even realize the effect she had on him? Though her touch was completely platonic, all he wanted to do was intertwine his fingers with hers.

It was true – Gar often found himself crushing on girls, but it was only that. He may have found many women attractive and tried to ask them out, but they also never seemed to have much past surface level. And when he found a girl that intrigued him, it was as if nobody else mattered – not even himself. Every thought and action happened to revolve around them. It wasn't healthy but he didn't care. If he didn't devote every moment on something else, his thoughts would fall to darkness – and having someone helped him feel a little less alone.

As the band slipped off his index, Gar's skin switched from tan to fair. He watched as Raven played with his fingertips and he copied her movements as if it were a slow dance. They continued this way for a brief moment, exploring the feel of the other's graze. Gar was almost certain she let out a soft breath before pulling away.

Did she feel the same about him?

He studied Raven's features as she inspected her actions. She slowly raised her eyes to his, their foreheads almost touching, and held the ring up between them.

"Hiding," she reiterated and dropped the ring into Gar's palm, careful not to touch him again.

"It's important to the mission."

"I took off the ring because I want to talk to _you, _Garfield – not Logan."

_Don't kiss her. Don't kiss her. Don't kiss her._

"Robin used to be the hardest for me to read, but I could still do it" she continued. "Lately, you've taken his place. There have been times where I get absolutely _nothing _coming from you and it worries me."

"I taught myself to turn it off."

"Why?" she asked, confused. He shrugged.

"For you."

"For . . . me?"

"Yeah. In case youcan't block it."

"That's . . . incredibly thoughtful. Thank you."

"No problem," he smiled.

"But you don't need to turn it off now. You can talk to me – you can trust me." She reflected for a moment. She had lied to her team about her heritage, she avoided notifying them of their last day, she helped her father destroy the world, and she left the Titans to face Trigon alone. "_Do_ you trust me?"

Her words echoed with another's voice. Gar had promised himself long ago that his mistakes would not be made again and that was a promise he would keep. Taking a deep breath, he nodded.

"I need to save them, Rae."

"You can't."

"I know . . . but I _have_ to." His eyes pleaded with her as she shifted away from him. "We're barely scratching the surface of who they are. I know a little more about their pasts now, but I don't . . . _know_. I don't remember what their hugs feel like. I can't tell who's coming down the hall just by their footsteps. There's so much missing."

"I'm sorry, Garfield. I won't let you. We complete our mission and return to the Tower."

"That's not your decision to make."

"In this case, it is. Robin asked me to stay with you to ensure the future stays intact."

"It's not his decision to make either!" his voice began to rise.

"Garfield, I've said that I'm sorry. There are too many consequences if we change the past."

"Really?" he scoffed. "Like what?"

"You won't leave if you have something to lose. You won't find the Titans or the Doom Patrol."

"You don't know that."

"No," she sighed, "but I can't risk it."

"I don't understand why this is such a big deal to you." He was aggravated with the cyclical conversation that gave him no answers. "Not like the Titans would see a difference without me there."

"That's not true," she halted him.

"Okay, fine. Then name one time that I made a difference in a fight. Not a stupid fight like the New-fu. I'm talking about something important. Something you guys would not have been able to do without me."

"Trigon," she answered without a moment's hesitation.

"What?" He was dumbfounded.

"I don't know if we would have defeated Trigon without you there."

"You would've been fine," he dismissed. "You made it clear that Robin was the one who helped you."

"Robin's a whole other story," Raven muttered before continuing. "He kept telling me that there was hope and that _I_ gave hope but . . . it didn't feel right. It felt like a lie. I meditated in the weeks following and found what I expected."

"What's that?"

"_I_ got my hope from someone else."

"Uhhhh –" he deliberated.

"You, Garfield. I thought I was making that obvious."

"I give you hope?" He understood there wasn't supposed to be a choice – he was supposed to go back to the Titans; he was to leave the past alone. Logically, there was only one option. Emotionally, he was torn. He had a family waiting for him in the future and, if his instincts were right, maybe Raven was waiting for him as well. However, he also had a family in the past and maybe a chance at a normal life – a chance to love _them_.

He was so stressed.

"Anyway," she cleared her throat, "I should _actually_ go to bed now." She grabbed her water glass and departed for her bedroom once more. "Goodnight."

It became one of those overwhelming moments – a moment where your mind is so lost that even the slightest change around you will set you off. Raven appeared to move away from him swiftly and leisurely in the same instant. Gar didn't know what to do, so he blurted the first thing that came to his mind.

"I like you, Rae!"

Fear – adrenaline shot through her, causing her veins to feel as though they were on fire. For a brief moment, she felt as though she would be sick. She stumbled as she faced him.

"What?" she breathed.

_Why did I say that?_ he scolded himself. There was no going back so Gar decided to move forward.

"I said 'I like you'. Like how I liked Terra," he explained.

"I – I'm sorry, Beast Boy." The room seemed to spin around her as she stepped backward onto the first stair. "I can't."

"But –"

"I just can't."

And she was gone.

"I r_eally _need to learn when to keep my mouth shut," he groaned. The only thing left for Gar to do was sink into the cushions and smother himself.

Upstairs, Raven paced in her temporary room before catching her uncharacteristic behavior. She sat on the edge of the bed to think – her pacing wasn't the only odd action she had taken that night. She buried her nose in business that wasn't her own. She had practically held hands with her teammate and became troubled as she realized it was not unpleasant. Her face had become so close to his that she was grateful for the darkness that hid her blush. She told him that she needed him. Not explicitly, of course, but she revealed enough to unchain the secret she vowed to keep.

She revealed enough to make Gar feel as though he needed to confess his feelings, which ushered in another issue.

Was Gar the kind of person who would sabotage the mission because she hadn't reacted the way he hoped? Would he be able to overpower her thoughts when it was time to return to the future to ensure he'd change his past? Neither of those passing thoughts described her friend but, then again, everything depended on whether his headspace was valid. Did Raven only feel the way she did because she was affected by Gar dropping his barrier or had she hidden her true inclination until tonight, unbeknownst to herself? Did _she_ make him act the way he did?

Yet through her deliberation, one thought overshadowed the rest:

It was happening again.

**Please review, everyone! I want to apologize for taking so long to update this. Obviously, things are a little off due to the virus but, on top of that, I also just moved to Atlanta. It's been a huge change, but hopefully it'll work out. If y'all need something to do, I'd recommend getting a DCUniverse subscription. I've been reading the comics for **_**months**_** now and I'm still not caught up. On top of that, they have the original "Teen Titans" cartoon and the live-action "Titans", as well as plenty of other amazing shows and movies. "Titans" has a **_**lot **_**of rewatch-ability(and so many BBRae moments) so I've definitely gotten my use out of the subscription. Stay safe. Love you all.**


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